The tedious trope justifying why omnivores can’t give up meat is always bacon.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love bacon. Smoked streaky bacon cooked on the BBQ is the best ever.

But you know, Frazzles crisps taste pretty good, and they’re vegetarian, so maybe the holy grail is now possible?

Our opening contender is Upton’s Naturals Bacon Seitan. At first look, it’s not hugely appealing. The perma-tan oblongs of rough-textured protein are of slightly differing thicknesses, but I dump the whole lot in the frying pan together.

They smell quite nice cooking, and I decide to have them as a posh bacon wrap. A few tentative nibbles on a pure strip reveals a pleasant sweet BBQ sauce flavour, but a chewy texture lacking the butteriness of fat.

The best imitation comes from a few thin bits that I fry rigid. These taste a bit more like crispy bacon shards, so that may be the secret.

The sandwich is pretty good, but clearly not bacon. Still, I’m intrigued to try some other contenders now.