“Is this alcoholic?!” is not a reaction any sensible person should have to something called rum punch. But in my defense, it was sitting innocently among the teas and coffees on a regular café menu, and was priced around the same as its fellows.

Sure it was CALLED rum punch, but my assumption that it must be some sort of hot rum-esque-but-not-actual-rum beverage turned out to be wrong.

As I’ve mentioned before, I struggle with finding hot drinks I like. My current list is Horlicks (rarely on a UK menu), Ovaltine or Milo (ditto), chocolate (but I like a fancy one best) or masala chai. Milky, sweet and comforting.

I briefly flirted with ginseng coffee on holiday in Italy last year (failed to write about any of that, of course). I tried a couple of things on Italian drinks menus that weren’t explicitly coffee (a barley drink called Orzo was not a success), if only to be able to stand at a counter, down my tiny cupful and rush off looking busy.

So I thought I should extend this trial to Croatia, and when I saw rum punch in the hot drinks section for a low price, I thought “well it can’t be actual rum, can it”. A bit of research suggested it could be a very red alcoholic drink called Pepito, but I thought, “yeah, but, it won’t be”. And so naturally it was.

It came served in a teacup looking for all the world like a hot negroni. My brain saw the “med” packet and stupidly had no idea what it could be. I’m pretty sure I thought “mayonnaise?” before opening it and going “ohhhhhhh, honey, you idiot”.

I put the whole lot straight in, and then stirred and tried a sip. It had a sweet, vanilla-ish, rum flavour, not unpleasant but it just felt so incongruous. Why was it with the other hot drinks? Why was it so cheap? And, just, why?

It was exactly what it claimed to be, but it wasn’t for me. It had a hot squash/fruit tea vibe, and mulled wine is the furthest I go in that direction. Nonetheless I am very happy I tried it, and equally happy I was not driving anywhere afterwards.