The False Cheese Course

Sod bacon, it’s cheese that is my personal vegan mountain. I love it SO MUCH.

As Shakespeare said, “Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale / Her infinite variety”. In fact I love it so much, I even wrote a song about it. (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t good.)

ASDA‘s Free From Mature Cheddar Alternative was getting some positive reviews, so I thought I would start with that. However after buying it, I was too scared to try it, so it got comfy in the fridge for a few weeks.

Eventually, I knew I had to go for it. I decided to start out with a simple slice, plain.

On opening the packet there was a noticeable smell – it reminded me of Wotsits or Hippeas Take It Cheesy crisps.

It looked the part, if a little smoother. I carefully cut a slice, finding it less crumbly than regular cheddar.

The first bite was bizarre. The texture had echoes of smoked processed cheese – a touch squishy. The taste was hard to pin down. A little vinegar, a definite corny cheese crisp flavour, a weird fake butter. It definitely didn’t taste like cheese, but it could be a distant relative.

Grated and blasted in the oven on a pasta bake the next day, the texture was okay but that odd taste still caught me out.

I’m not saying I’ve abandoned all hope, but my faith has definitely been tested. Still, maybe I just need to find the one that works for me…

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